what if we were less fear-driven?

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How do we get to the point of having a society of  uncofident, people with low-self-esteem, “i can’t do it  and who am I to succeed “attitude? Where are the root  of the problem hidden?

We are used to be ” assessed and compared” and then ” compared and assessed” and then it goes like a ritual druing the whole life. ( from birth: comapring weight of baby with the standarts, comparing who can read/write at the age of 5 and who can not, school entry exam, tests, tests, exams, tests,  University exams ( OMG), inteview – IQ test, assessments, auditions, certifications….)

What is the price we pay for adopting this policy?

“Can you please assess me? Can you please tell me how good am I doing? Can you please tell me where do I stand in comparison to others?  Am I smart enough? How smart am I?  Who is smarter than me? What is your opinion about me?”

How many kids at the age of 10-11 ( !!!) are asking those questions to themselves and their “authorities” like parents, teachers, mentors etc… How many of them are being diminished by others and then getting used to that feeling so much that they continue diminshing themselves by habit and playing small just cause they were convinced they ARE small?

What kind of individuals we as a society inherit then?  If we were a big coporation we could have had a mission  like ” We sustainably enable the specific lfe journeys full of judgement so that we produce and deliver high numbers  of clients for psycologist and life coaches. Individual by individual, generation by generation – we guarantee…. ”

I have a question… ( not a dream, gentlemen, I can’t have a dream as accordint to  hgh-class experts dreaming is something infantile, loosers have a dream, winners  have a goal).  And because I dont want to have a goal ( I am somehow sick and tired of having SMART goals), I am at least not deprvied of having questions.

So my questions are:

-Who could we become if the school teachers would be taught first how to give  students wings to fly, how to appreciate oneself, how to find oneself beautiful?

-What if schools had  “no judgement” policy?

-How would  the school Wall of Honours look like then ? (may be we could have the picture of every kid on the wall with the title” we are honoured and humble you choose us to serve you? “)

– What kind of individuals would ran our world then?

Who could we become if we  liberate oursleves, our kids, our parents, our employees, our teachers from that genetic flaw of judgement?

Say the words you want to say on time wthout expecting for an answer

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Somehow it turned out there is a tradition of closing a year with a report ( personal, professional etc). I noticed people feel accountable to the Universe and they make a lot of yearly reviews, summaries, statements, reports and even more pledges for an upcoming year. 

We, as individuals and as an organization also have a lot of things to remember and to feel thankful for but for now just wanted to share  the great conclusion/key learning of the year:

“Say the good words you want to say on time wthout expecting for an answer…”  

So many times we want to say things we really feel about people whom we don’t know so well or may be, we don’t know how will they react or after saying it finally, we are awaiting for their reply and when they do not react, we feel somehow cheated or ignored… 

And this creates the discomfortable feeling of being vulnerable and rejected. and then we just gradually quit saying good things to people whenever we feel it… most of the time, when the right time has gone we regret about that… 

I realized we got it wrong, we look for satisfaction in answer rather in saying itself and I thought thats a good example of everything we do – we too much look for satisfaction in the result or feed-back rather in process itself. 

Adn if we could learn this, how enjjoyable life would be with every word, with every warmth? …

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year